D's HellD The Prostitute
by djdragonfire
Summary: Oh gawd. It's the second crack story! :D D's A Prostitute! If you don't like crack about him don't read! plzkthnxbai


Hello, we are back with another installment of pure crack, this time caused by music and overly burnt biscuts...Mmm butter...not even butter could save them T^T...

Anyway on with the story, and remember we are still not responsible for the state of your mind after reading this or the agrivation you may face due to Rynn's Horrid Spelling and Dislexia...Dont Worry Dj is harping on Rynn to type better. Even as she types this... ~glares at Dj~

We do not own these characters, if we did....lets just say its best we don't ^w^

ON WIF DA CWACK!!!! 3

D and His Prostitution Career

Ever since the Vampire population had died down a great amount, D was starting to find himself with more butterflies in his wallet than cash...It was about time D either settled down or found a new job...SO off to the Employment Office. On the way there D noted how many humans swooned over him and it gave him an idea. He could put his looks to use, For better....or for much worse.

First thing was first, he had to find the field of work he was going to apply himself towards, so he waited in a small town till the sun had set and proceeded to hunt around the local corners to ask the pros for some advice. It wasn't too long before he ran into a few _hard working_ individuals.

"Hey..." D's husk voice called out to a thin form standing in the shadows of a dimlit street light close to one of the local bar's alleyways.

"Hey yourself, you looking to rent or buy for the night?" A sharp and seductive voice rang out in return.

"I'm Looking for a Trainer of this carnal trade...do you know where I could find one?"

"Well, first of all, the hunter look went out with the age of darklore and Knights or the round tables and such. We got to get you in the Modern Times! The more skin exposed the better! Also i think you could do with some more leather, the ones you have now just are not tight enough! Oh! Fishnets!!!! How could i forget them! They are a must have for any Whore!"

"I'm not a Whore. I am a Hunter out of work searching for a job that requires no application." D snarled, his tone was getting irratated.

"Your not a whore yet, Sweety, now lets take you back to the Hideout. There we can make you slutty and absolutly Delectible." She laughed sweetly.

With that said D's hand was forcibly taken and was pulled further into the deep alley, the snide remark trailed loosely on the winds as only D heard what his hand mumbled in protest.

"D, your gonna regreat this later, just remember what burns now will itch later, and im not going to scratch it for you."

______________________________________________________________________________

"Oh Katie, he's perfect! He's bound to bring in $400 an hour at least! Imagine what He could Bring in a Night!!! How long can you last Dear?"

"Excuse me?" D barely managed to studder as he stood nearly stark naked in a ragged towel as women dressed in uncanny outfits threw various clothing at him.

"You know Love, how long till you loose control and your gun goes off?" One of the women smirked as she snapped a pair of cuffs around D's pale wrists. A small burst of laughter was barely audiable above the shreaks and cackles of the women.

"Done! Oh The Doctor will simply love you! Hell you're fine enough you might go straight to working the crowd in the underground club."

Yet again D felt his hand being pulled down yet another dark path, however, he found himself learning to walk again. Apparently one of the women had managed to get a pair of thigh high, platform shoes with heels that could make anyone over 5 feet tall, figuratively speaking. The clothes he now wore felt strange and smelled of a meat market with day old fish rotting in the back, not to mention the heavy scent of liquor that seemed to loom around the place like a thick blanket.

The rest of his utterly obsurd costume consisted of a fishnet shirt, tight, black, leather shorts. Fishnet tights clinging to him under the shorts, it all felt slightly uncomfortable, but hey, if it was going to make him money, hell he'd put up wiht it. At least they let him keep his beloved hat and sword. They said they only added to his image.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they reached a ominus looking door. This door gave D an odd sense of forboding. Suddenly, he heard a faint grumbling and a "Hey can you help a friend out and move a little more to the right? I've almost got a good view of her floss."

D, almost disgusted by this, slammed his left palm into the cold metal wall. This caused a little commotion, some screams from the other side of the wall and a few odd looks. He looked at them and shrugged it off. The prostitute who he met out by the alley smiled at him cheerfully. Then she turned to the door in front of her, knocked three times and waited. Giggles were heard, followed by the sounds of zippers, snaps and leather. It was quiet for a few seconds and then a drawling, "Come in." punctured the silence.

The prostitute turned back to D, giggled slightly and said:

"I hope you are ready to meet the Doctor!"


End file.
